While working towards this competition
I wrote on a few different occasions. Going back and re reading
everything now the different phases are evident. Just before my 43rd
birthday I decided I was going to do this. It wasn't clear why though.
Why would anyone work for 2 months only to be judged by a panel of
strangers in a matter of minutes. One thing I will say for certain;
when you go into something physically and mentally challenging know
in your heart you are doing it for you. And know that you really
want it because at some point self doubt will creep in and you may
want to check out. Quite often memory fails us of that initial
enthusiasm.
I believe when you are reaching for new
goals and challenges it's important to surround yourself with like
minded individuals. Simply, if you want to run faster run with
faster people. Truth is your goals are not everybody's concern.
You're not always going to hear what you want or even what you need.
You may also see some raw truths that seem hurtful but perhaps at a
later date they may offer value. Life does continue to go on around
you. So here I am – one night before competition. I'm better today than I was
yesterday. I've had feelings im comfortable with and others I'm not.
Keeping perspective wasn't always easy and neither was keeping it all
together. But I am at peace and excited and that's something I'm
absolutely cool with!
When I look in the mirror I see the
results of what I feel internally. We can glamourise a healthy
lifestyle and leave it all to vanity but it doesn't come down to
that. Transforming your body comes down to intensity, drive,
passion. It's a desire to defy and the will to get truly
uncomfortable. It's feeling alive. Its complicated at times and
simple at others. If you feel all these things – they are real.
Take it all in. I am satisfied with where I am because I have worked
hard and gave it my all while still trying to maintain “normal”
with family, home and work. Trying to fit it all in meant some late
night and even earlier mornings. Moments of highs and lows. Moments
of exhaustion. And guess what – that's OK! That's life. It's not
perfection. It can be messy and everything maddening and amazing all
at once. I see moms and dads, grandparents and people of all walks
of life changing their life through their health and fitness. And
that's just awesome.
I hope you are working towards the
goals you set out for yourself this year. I hope you haven't given
up. You have to keep going to do your best, to see your potential.
And in the simple act of going forward you will find fulfillment –
in the words I WILL NOT GIVE UP. You can do it!
Enjoy yourself in good health and
fitness./gena.
